I would like her to reciprocate with fellatio on me. How can I make her do it?


I usually perform cunnilingus on my wife and she really enjoys it. I would like her to reciprocate with fellatio on me. How can I make her do it? Please give me some cues as I desperately yearn for that moment.


Thank you for reaching out to us with your question. Mutual understanding is extremely important between spouses - this includes acknowledging each other's expectations in the bedroom.

Now you're writing that you enjoy performing cunnilingus on your wife - this is great and as a female I am sure your wife loves it, too! (I personally can't think of stuff much more enjoyable than a good lip service delivered right to me ;)).

The fact that she does not "return the favor" in the form of fellatio to you could indicate a few issues:

  1. your wife might not realize that she should reciprocate cunnilingus (this is somewhat hard to believe though as it is almost a socially acceptable "norm" to return "oral" favors - a norm that is known to most if not all adults);
  2. your wife might not realize that you expect her to reciprocate cunnilingus orally (i.e., she thinks that engaging in other forms of sex with you is what you expect in return for your cunnilingus);
  3. your wife is having some issues with handling a penis (whether it is specifically your penis that she is having problems with or she may just have certain issues with "facing" a male penis in general) - this one is the probable cause and it's also a bit difficult to tackle.

So to begin with, rule out the first two issues - usually a friendly and honest conversation during which you lay out your expectations should be enough for that.

If those are not the "culprits", then carefully approach your wife by asking if she has any fears or just feels uncomfortable touching your penis with her lips or putting it in her mouth. Remember to approach this issue very gently - this is no easy subject to discuss for a woman who has previous unpleasant experience associated with a male penis. Don't push it and make sure you sound supportive and understanding - I'm sure you will get a great bj from your spouse sooner that you expect it!

amber's picture
Amber Hoffman

I am writer and editor at Bedroom Stories online magazine, writing about sexual relationships and better understanding our lives. Feel free to contact me at [email protected]

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